About Me

I’m a grieving mom.

I started a blog (under another name) when my daughter Annika (now 3) was…younger. I don’t remember exactly when, and I’m too lazy to look back. Anyhow, back then, my intention was to make it mostly private. I wanted to write down things she did and said partly so that I wouldn’t forget, and partly to keep my mom up on her antics. I also wanted to keep a record of her language development because I fancy myself a hobby linguist. I thought I might share it with just a few family members and friends, and didn’t ever really expect it to be particularly interesting. I’m not that eloquent… and I certainly don’t have the wit and wisdom of some of the great bloggers out there. Well, short story long, I never really managed to keep that blog up-to-date, and I never even told my mom (or anyone else) about it.

My mom is gone now. She died July 1, 2007. I thought I’d revive the blog after my dear twins, Lina and Cole, were born on October 4, 2007. They were born at 26 weeks and 2 days gestation, and I wanted to have a way to keep family & friends up to date on their progress. Well, despite my best intentions, that didn’t go so well either. I was trying to get the story up-to-date so that I could let people know about it, but after we lost our little boy, Cole, on October 26th, just 23 days old, I couldn’t bring myself to go back to it. Finally, I sent out the address with my Christmas letters and started sharing it with others. I got it up-to-date shortly thereafter. Just in time to post about how well our daughter Lina was doing. Well, that all went to hell after a few days too and we lost our baby girl on January 11, 2008.

Now it’s a blog about my pain, mostly. I’m writing to remember things for myself and to somehow keep the memory of my babies alive. I’m thankful for the family and friends (and strangers) who continue to read, to grieve with me, and to offer their support.

I hope I can get through this.