was awful. I knew that things were going to be rough with the holidays coming up, but who knew that Halloween would be so hard? My plan was to go to Annika’s Halloween party at school and then take her trick-or-treating. But that day all I could think about was how I’d never get to dress my baby boy up as a pirate, or Darth Vader… or dress Lina and Cole as Minnie and Mickey Mouse.

That’s one of the worst things. Not only did I lose my baby, my child. I lost a dream. All the twin things I was going to get to do with them. Thank god I hadn’t already bought a whole bunch of stuff. We hadn’t bought the carseats, stroller, any of that yet. Though we’d received quite a few matching pink and blue outfits as gifts. Those are hard to look at.

Anyhow, back to Halloween. It was such a hard day. We skipped trick-or-treating. We don’t live in an area with a lot of trick-or-treaters anyhow (we had 2). So we’d have had to drive around to find a more kid-friendly neighborhood. It was all just too much. So my poor little bumblebee didn’t get to go. She didn’t know what she was missing of course, but I still felt bad.

I don’t even have a good picture of her in her costume.



1 Response to “Halloween”

  1. 1 DenzelWe November 2, 2009 at 4:56 am

    Dear Friends, HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

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About Me

I'm a grieving mom. I have one beautiful daughter, Annika, who's 3 years old now (born 12/28/04). I also had twins, Lina and Cole, on 10/04/07, born at just 26 weeks. We lost Cole after just 23 days due to complications related to his prematurity. Fiesty little Lina overcame so much and just when she was getting ready to come home with us, suddenly had a complication unrelated to her prematurity and passed away on January 11, 2008. This blog is about getting through it. More...

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