The worst news

It is with the deepest sorrow that I have to tell you that we lost our precious Lina this afternoon. The surgery revealed that there was no salvageable bowel, and there was nothing that could be done for her. They brought her to us and she passed away in our arms.

We are devastated and heartbroken.  I don’t know how this could happen to us.  My poor, dear babies.  How much they struggled in their short lives.  Wish us strength. I don’t know how I will get through it.


41 Responses to “The worst news”

  1. 1 Maura January 11, 2008 at 6:42 pm

    My deepest sympathies to you and your family

  2. 2 P.Williams January 11, 2008 at 6:44 pm

    I am so sorry. I’m crying for all of you.

  3. 3 P.Williams January 11, 2008 at 6:47 pm

    You will get thru it for Annika and we will be here when you need us. Patti

  4. 4 Melissa (Mo) January 11, 2008 at 6:55 pm


    I am so incredibly sorry. Words fail me right now, but know that you and your family are in our prayers.


  5. 5 Marilyn NJ January 11, 2008 at 7:05 pm

    I’m so sorry Patrice. My deepest sympathies go to you and your family. I know you Mom will take care of both Lina and Cole.


  6. 6 Robin (from MOMs) January 11, 2008 at 7:07 pm

    Oh Patrice, my heart aches for you and your family. There are no words here, only hugs. May God be with you, your husband, Annika, and your family during this time.


  7. 7 Dana January 11, 2008 at 7:09 pm

    Patrice, there are no words right now. Our hearts are with you and your family.


  8. 8 Jen January 11, 2008 at 7:13 pm


    I am so incredibly sorry, words cannot express my sympathy. I do not know why you have had to endure such pain. My heart truly aches for you and your entire family. Life is so unfair at times. I wish I had comforting words and I wish I could make things better for you. You and your entire family remain in my thoughts and prayers.

    With deepest sorrow~

    Jen (baby steps-jen in MA)

  9. 9 Katie January 11, 2008 at 7:17 pm

    I wish I could take away your pain. We are all praying for you.

    Please let us know what we can do to help.


  10. 10 Leslie January 11, 2008 at 7:23 pm

    Patrice, I am sending every ounce of strength and love that I can possibly muster to you and your family in this time of need. I am so, so sorry for your losses. I only met you once (at DebNJ’s party in the spring) but I will never forget you or your three precious children. I am praying for all of you.

  11. 11 Ilissa (IEinIL) January 11, 2008 at 7:54 pm

    I am at a loss for words. I’m so sorry. It just doesn’t seem like enough. I am grieving for you even though I don’t know you. I am praying for you and your family.

    ~Ilissa (babysteps IEinIL)

  12. 12 Kim (from MOM's) January 11, 2008 at 8:04 pm

    I was in tears reading of your unfathomable loss. You are such a strong woman. Please try to take care of yourself. As others have said, there really are no words to suffice.
    Sending prayers to all of you,

  13. 13 Mandi-RI January 11, 2008 at 8:06 pm

    Patrice and family,

    My deepest sympathies to you. May God give you strength at this time and carry you through your grief. My heart is completely broken for you.


  14. 14 Sile January 11, 2008 at 8:07 pm

    i am so sorry. you and your family are in my thoughts. -sile

  15. 15 Joyce January 11, 2008 at 8:48 pm

    There are times in our lives that defy words – that defy emotions – that defy common sense. There is just no way to wrap your head around what you have endured in these past months. Its beyond not fair – its too cruel –

    My heart and soul are with you – the thoughts of many, many men and women are with you tonight, and will be for many, many more.

  16. 16 Sandy January 11, 2008 at 9:06 pm

    I am full of sorrow. Not one, but now two bright little lights have been taken away from us. I wish I could be there with you in these heart-breaking times.
    Much love,
    Sandy Sample

  17. 17 jennc January 11, 2008 at 9:08 pm

    I am at a loss for words, I can’t believe this news – I am so sorry for the loss of your precious baby girl. My thoughts and prayers are with you always. Rest in heavenly peace sweet Lina….love, jennc

  18. 18 Rachel January 11, 2008 at 9:34 pm

    Patrice-words cannot express how heartbreaking and tragic this is-but I know you WILL get through this for Annika. Your two little ones are together in peace now. You & your family are in my thoughts & prayers~

  19. 19 Mona (Babysteps) January 11, 2008 at 9:35 pm

    I have no words. Life is so unfair. I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers at this difficult time.

  20. 20 Laura Neminski (fellow MOM) January 11, 2008 at 9:39 pm

    I was stunned to read your post and my heart aches for you and your family.I am so sorry for your loss and hope you know you have an entire family of people you’ve never met that are thinking of you and sharing your pain. Laura

  21. 21 Missy (Sissie) January 11, 2008 at 10:24 pm

    My heart breaks for you….You have my deepest sympathies.

  22. 22 Jo Shields (MOMs) January 11, 2008 at 11:13 pm

    Dear Patrice,
    I too was stunned to see your post. We really thought, hoped and prayed your precious Lina had turned the corner and was going to be okay. What a devastatingly tragic and unimaginable loss to have to bear, again. You and your husband have endured so much. It’s just not fair. Our hearts are full of sorrow for you both, my tears won’t stop. I am so sorry.
    Jo S.

  23. 23 Holly January 11, 2008 at 11:23 pm

    I don’t even know what to say. My deepest sympathies to you and your family. Be strong.

  24. 24 Kahla January 11, 2008 at 11:37 pm

    Words can not even begin to express how my heart aches for you and your family. I just don’t understand how life can be so unfair. I am so very sorry.

  25. 25 Libbi (2nd cousin) January 11, 2008 at 11:41 pm

    Hello Patrice,

    I am your second cousin-Sonja (Kulseth) is my mom, Palmer was her dad/my grandpa. Anyway, I read a message from Pauline just now, and read your reply to her. I was so heart-broken when I read your blog, and then went back to read all that you and your family have been through. You are in our deepest thoughts and prayers.


  26. 26 Leah Rumbough January 11, 2008 at 11:52 pm

    What I wouldn’t do to take away your pain. This is so unimaginable that you should have to face this–yet again. You were supposed to go home with two beautiful twin babies, and instead your arms are empty and your heart is filled with sorrow. Twins are a precious blessing, and for you to have to be without both of your sweet babies is so unfair.

    I am so glad you got to hold your sweet Lina, and be with her as she took her last breath. She knew how very much you loved her, and always will. You gave her the best care there is to give.

    I know she and Cole will be in your hearts forever, though that’s probably no consolation now. They are supposed to be HERE on earth with you. I have no doubt that you will meet again one day–and your babies will be waiting for you. Your mom is probably keeping both Cole & Lina warm and safe in her arms right now.

    Our hearts ache for you and your family. May you find the strength, peace, love and all the comfort you require to get through this. You have friends standing by you, ready to support you as you heal. We are here for you. Lean on us and with our collective strength, we’ll to help you to make it though.

    Our thoughts and prayers remain with you.
    Leah Rumbough,
    and all the MOMs (Mother of Multiples, Lower Fairfield County, CT)

  27. 27 Marci January 11, 2008 at 11:56 pm

    Deepest sympathies to your family.

  28. 28 Jill January 12, 2008 at 12:02 am


    My heart breaks for your family. I am so sorry. I am sending my deepest sympathies and hugs to your family. Words just seem so inadequate right now.


  29. 29 Bub & Jan Knudson January 12, 2008 at 12:08 am

    Patrice & Esraf & Annika, We feel your sorrow all the way back to ND. Words cannot begin to express our deepest sympathy to all of you. We hold you all in our prayers and know that Lina is now at home in heaven with your mom and dad and Cole. Know how much we all love you and we pray for God to give you all the strength you need. Bub & Jan

  30. 30 Mother Kay in Duluth January 12, 2008 at 12:22 am

    We are with you in Spirit, I pray all of the saints and angels and Holy Ones in Heaven be with you and your family and clothe you all with the sanctified robe of Compassion and Mercy. May God strenghen your hearts and grant you the peace which passeth understanding.

  31. 31 Leslie (LEAB) January 12, 2008 at 7:57 am


    I am so sorry and deeply saddened over the loss of Lina. I don’t know that I have the words, just tears. Good luck to you, DH and Annika – I hope you find love and comfort in one another during this time.

    Leslie (LEAB)

  32. 32 Grace January 12, 2008 at 9:21 am


    There are no words right now to express how sorry I am over the loss of Lina. My hearts is aching and my tears are dropping. I want you to know that if there were anything in the whole world I could do that would lessen your hurt, I would gladly do it. Be Strong.


  33. 33 Rebecca January 12, 2008 at 12:00 pm

    Patrice, you remain in my thoughts constantly. I admire the amazing strength you have displayed so far, and I pray for continued strength and peace for you. You and your sweet family are in my heart.


  34. 34 Joy January 12, 2008 at 1:36 pm


    My heart is just breaking for you.
    I wish that I could wrap my arms around you and take some of this pain away from you.
    What you have had to endure is just unfathomable.
    I know it is of little solace, but please know I am thinking of you and your entire family as you mourn the loss of your precious babies.

    With love,
    Joy (from babysteps)

  35. 35 michellev January 12, 2008 at 4:43 pm


    I am so heartbroken for you over your loss of Lina. I wish I could take away you pain or at least help you make some sense of all this but it is just unfathomable. I’m praying for you and Esraf and Annika.

    All my love

  36. 36 Jessica January 12, 2008 at 5:57 pm

    I am so sorry Patrice. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

    Love, Jessica (Jess-ID Babysteps)

  37. 37 Michelle January 12, 2008 at 6:52 pm

    My beloved friend Patrice,

    My heart is in a place that it has not been in some time now.. I feel such sorrow and pain, like nothing I have ever felt before.

    I am so sorry Patrice. I will hold you all tight in my prayers.

    With a heavy heart,
    Michelle in Ma

  38. 38 Lisa VonDrehle January 12, 2008 at 9:01 pm

    Patrice, I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my prayers. I just want to hug you. Please take my strength its all I have to offer.

    With love and sympathy,
    Lisa V (babysteps)

  39. 39 Madianne January 13, 2008 at 2:21 am

    Oh Patrice- I have no words. They could never express the sorrow I feel in my heart for this beautiful baby that I never got to meet in person. She was so strong, and such a little fighter, I will never, ever forget her or her brother. I wish there was something I could do or say to take away your pain, or to bring these beautiful babies back. You and your family are in my heart and prayers. I wish you peace and healing in your time of grief. With much love and sympathy, Madianne(babysteps)

  40. 40 Kinjal January 14, 2008 at 11:42 am

    There are no words right now.
    Our hearts & prayers are with you and your family.


  41. 41 nnie January 15, 2008 at 12:55 am

    Hi Patrice,
    I am a BabySteps member and have been following your story, I am so sorry for your losses. Please take care of your self and give your family a big hug,

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About Me

I'm a grieving mom. I have one beautiful daughter, Annika, who's 3 years old now (born 12/28/04). I also had twins, Lina and Cole, on 10/04/07, born at just 26 weeks. We lost Cole after just 23 days due to complications related to his prematurity. Fiesty little Lina overcame so much and just when she was getting ready to come home with us, suddenly had a complication unrelated to her prematurity and passed away on January 11, 2008. This blog is about getting through it. More...

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