Happy Birthday, Little Ones.

“Happy” Birthday is weird of course. I should be planning a birthday party today. Not “trying to keep busy” so that I can remain functional for Annika. I don’t know what to say here today. I just wanted to acknowledge it.

A friend of mine recently sent me this beautiful quote. So I’ll share it:

We shall find peace.
We shall hear angels.
We shall see the sky sparkling with diamonds.
-Anton Chekov

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6 Responses to “Happy Birthday, Little Ones.”


  1. 1 Sheri-ct October 4, 2008 at 9:52 pm

    I have been thinking of you and your little ones all day. I am so sad for you. You should be planning a party. Life is not fair. I am so sorry.

    Sheri

  2. 2 Eve October 5, 2008 at 3:02 pm

    I came here by way of Scott Erb, interested in reading because I too have lost a child.

    Though they say the first year is the hardest, I think this is only because the first year is a fog. When you really start to feel what you lost or perceive it, it seems to hurt even more. My husband and I agree that we have never fully recovered from our daughter’s death, and that it seemed to take 3-4 years (maybe more) to feel we were ourselves. Even if we were new selves.

    I’m sorry for your loss. I know those words don’t help, but there they are. I am so sorry.

  3. 3 E. Goldstein October 7, 2008 at 6:01 am

    You should mark it – the day you first met them face to face. Our milestones will always be mixed. It is the combination of the good and bad, joy/sorrow that defines us. There won’t be an Oct. 4th down the road where it is not appropriate for you to acknowledge and share the memory.
    I have been clicking and clicking over the past 6 months hoping to see a new post, I’m so happy to find you here, and I am sorry I’m a little late. I don’t have the right contact info for Greenwich – I would love to talk w/ you – *anytime*.
    I have been in Minneapolis – I am right now for a while(I have my Berkeley cep phone w/me). Everyday I see the silk pillows Gary did for the couch (two are in mothers livingroom) I think of you. Every time I drive toward St. Paul I see the witch’s hat I think of you. When I am in St. Paul and… a *lot* of the time. I hope you and Esref and Annika are well. Love you, thinking of you and would love to hear from you xxE.

  4. 4 zina October 7, 2008 at 5:38 pm

    Peace to you, Esref and Annika.
    All my best,
    Zina

  5. 5 LorMarie October 8, 2008 at 9:12 pm

    Just wanted to say hang in there.

  6. 6 Nazli October 15, 2008 at 6:35 am

    Patrice’cigim acini paylasiyorum.


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About Me

I'm a grieving mom. I have one beautiful daughter, Annika, who's 3 years old now (born 12/28/04). I also had twins, Lina and Cole, on 10/04/07, born at just 26 weeks. We lost Cole after just 23 days due to complications related to his prematurity. Fiesty little Lina overcame so much and just when she was getting ready to come home with us, suddenly had a complication unrelated to her prematurity and passed away on January 11, 2008. This blog is about getting through it. More...

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