One Year

I’m sorry I haven’t been around much. I am still not sure what I want this to be. I’m working again, which, among other things, severely curtails the time I have to write. I wish I would though. It helped.

Today I needed to acknowledge that it was one year ago today that we lost our baby girl. That day was probably the worst day of my life (so many to choose from). This is the last of the one-year anniversaries. I’ve been waiting for this day with a strange mix of anticipation and dread. I suppose I’m glad to have these anniversaries behind us. But somehow I keep hoping there will be some magical moment, some turning-point, where I can tell things are getting better. Easier. But I guess it doesn’t work that way.

I just wanted to say we miss you little Lina. My jelly bean.



10 Responses to “One Year”

  1. 1 LorMarie January 11, 2009 at 7:46 pm

    These anniversaries are so hard.

  2. 2 Tracie January 12, 2009 at 10:08 am

    I am sorry Patrice. Your Lina and Cole will always be remembered.

  3. 3 babysmiling January 13, 2009 at 9:06 pm

    My thoughts are with you today.

  4. 4 Scott Erb January 13, 2009 at 11:39 pm

    You’re in my thoughts too, Patrice. And your heart felt blog is a testament to Lina and Cole, and the love of a mother for her children. Through you, their lives have meaning, even if they were cut tragically short. And somehow I suspect the spirits of Lina and Cole are looking down at you, plotting to send good things your way for the future!

  5. 5 Elizabeth January 14, 2009 at 1:37 pm

    I am so sorry.

  6. 7 mary January 16, 2009 at 3:49 pm

    Patrice, you and your family have been in my thoughts often lately. I knew that final anniversary was coming up and have been wondering what you have been up to. I’m glad you are back to work, it’s probably better for all of you. Please give me a call at 7 tower when you can. I would love to talk to you

  7. 8 Kahla January 17, 2009 at 10:27 pm

    Just sending some hugs and prayers.

  8. 9 Nazli February 4, 2009 at 3:57 am

    Aklimdasin Patrice. Seni arayacagim…

  9. 10 Briana March 3, 2009 at 9:55 am

    First blog I read after wakeup from sleep today!

    Are you tension? panic?

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About Me

I'm a grieving mom. I have one beautiful daughter, Annika, who's 3 years old now (born 12/28/04). I also had twins, Lina and Cole, on 10/04/07, born at just 26 weeks. We lost Cole after just 23 days due to complications related to his prematurity. Fiesty little Lina overcame so much and just when she was getting ready to come home with us, suddenly had a complication unrelated to her prematurity and passed away on January 11, 2008. This blog is about getting through it. More...

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