Posts Tagged 'family'

My family

I don’t have too much of it. I’m an only child, and I’ve lost both my dad (March 2003) and my mom (July 2007). That doesn’t mean I’ve been alone through all of this, fortunately. I belong to an amazing online community who I swear are like family, though I’ve never met most of them. We have neighbors (I mean, my childhood neighbors) some of whom I’ve known practically since birth, and they’ve been soooo supportive too. Especially the Witchalls. I don’t know what I’d do without them.

And then there’s my actual family. My mom & dad didn’t have big families either, and they’re spread out all across the country. My dad had a brother & a sister, but his sister died before I was born and my cousin grew up in New York, so I didn’t really know him growing up. We’ve been in touch over the past few years and we keep in loose contact by e-mail mostly with him and his wife. My uncle (dad’s brother) has been wonderful through all of it. He’s been sure to call me every couple of days since the babies were born, which was really, really a boost for me (I usually didn’t have the time/energy to make phone calls, but I was always so happy to receive them – to unload my anxieties or on good days to report on progress). My dad also had a very special aunt and uncle who love me like their own grandchild, I know. My dad had a cousin, too, who with his wife have stood by me through all this. My mom had one brother, but he passed away just before my dad did. Since my mom was sick I’ve been in close contact with his wife as well.

So a small family, but I know they care a great deal.

But through all this my family has grown. Not only my “virtual” family, but my real one as well. For some reason (or reasons, that I’m not aware of) my mom’s family has never been as close as my dad’s. Both my grandparents on my mom’s side were from large families, but I only ever knew one of my Grandpa’s brothers. But after my mom died, one of her cousins reached out to me, and I included her in my updates after Cole died and when Lina got sick. I have to say it has warmed my heart that so many “Kulseths” have reached out to me to share their sympathies.

It’s easy to feel very alone in the throes of heartbreak. I want to thank all those who have made me feel a little bit less so.

I’m a terrible blogger

I started this blog earlier this year, hoping to keep track of what Annika was doing.  Well, that was a bust. I figured it would be – I’ve never been a great journaler.  But in my defense, life intervened.  Shortly after I started it, my mom became very ill, and I spent several months with her before she passed away.  By then I was into the 2nd trimester of a difficult twin pregnancy.  Difficult in the sense that I was already extremely uncomfortable (general midsection pain – lower back, upper thighs & groin).  It felt early for all those aches and pains, but then again with twins…everybody kept telling me it’s a whole different ballgame.  Well, that’s for sure.

 This is a new blog. I’m going to try to keep friends & family apprised of the Cezzar family happenings.  All 5 of us, now.  We’ll see how it goes.


About Me

I'm a grieving mom. I have one beautiful daughter, Annika, who's 3 years old now (born 12/28/04). I also had twins, Lina and Cole, on 10/04/07, born at just 26 weeks. We lost Cole after just 23 days due to complications related to his prematurity. Fiesty little Lina overcame so much and just when she was getting ready to come home with us, suddenly had a complication unrelated to her prematurity and passed away on January 11, 2008. This blog is about getting through it. More...